AN ODE TO MY OLD LIFE
written by Tracey Coluzzi, 6.6.2013.
Spirits Dreaming “Awaken Your Spirit Within”
My name is Tracey and I am an alcoholic!
My name is Tracey and I am a drug addict!
Well so they say.....I haven't had a drink in so many years I no longer care to remember...Though on occasion I will have the odd bourbon, but only one.
I do have a mate in spirit who comes in to visit, and whenever Donny Bell is around I crave bourbon big time. So I might have one for him to enjoy through me. I never liked the way alcohol made me feel.
I haven't touched speed since I was in my 30's, but I could have been the biggest junkie fucked up drug addict....I made a conscious choice to live and not be dependant on being numb. Besides that, I had a death wish...I didn't care if I lived or died. The amount of car wrecks and motor bike accidents I was involved in, someone was truly looking out for me.
THANK GOD I no longer think like that, and feel that way about myself.
Life is about free will and making a conscious choice to do something good or bad. Along my death wish journey I never harmed anyone except myself, and I only ever endangered myself.
I still smoke pot on occasion, but I wouldn't call myself an addict or dependant on anything except air, water & food & LOVE. I really enjoy the mind expansion and calmness that comes from being stoned on good home grown in the ground, Marijuana.
People have demonized & condemned a plant that could save the entire planet, it is a super food, it can be used for rope & clothing, and even sails for yachts. The oil can be used for medicinal purposes, the seeds can be consumed. You can make paper out of it. It is also a cure for cancer.......
So WHY has it been labelled it this way?
The Government make much more money out of Alcohol. If they tried to control the growing of marijuana it would not be possible. So they made it illegal and labelled it as bad, bad, bad! And called people who use it drug addicts and junkies, and that it leads to other drug taking....
WHAT A LOAD OF UTTER BULLSHIT!
I bet those people have NEVER been stoned! HAHAHAHA.
They do not have a fucking clue!
They say it is the gateway drug!
Gateway to fucking WHAT!!! ???
Do you know what the gateway drug is....ALCOHOL......
It is readily available, it is sold in large quantities and low cost.
And alcohol kills, or is the cause of more death's in people than Marijuana EVER has!
Alcohol continues to be the bane of our society in Australia, with binge drinking and violence out of control, it is no longer safe to go out at night to enjoy yourself, you are forever on guard. Since the Government and all the fucking do-gooders, in their infinite wisdom has taken marijuana off the streets and underground, other drugs have taken it's place. These drugs are far more insidious, far more damaging & dangerous to lives young & old. Speed is no longer clean and safe to use. LSD is readily available but is probably entirely synthetic. Cocaine and Heroin are SO readily available. I see drug deals & people shooting up in their car, on the streets in MY home town....W.T.F!
Amphetamines, Methamphetamine, Ecstasy (MDMA), MDA & ICE....the fucking list goes on. Drug labs pop up like mushrooms, until they explode and kill people no-one does anything about it.
It is much safer growing your own dope and have a smoke every now and again. Very nice made into cookies and mull cake too :)
So THANK YOU to our Government for being so narrow minded and thinking out of your asses. Glad you think your bullshitting works.....NOT! If you can't see what is happening in Australia with the drug problems NOW....we are in for a very bumpy ride in the future. Fucking blind Freddie could see we have a very serious on going drug problem, and nothing seems to be done about it. OH! but they have brought in stronger laws to further demonize a harmless NATURAL plant - MARIJUANA- that happens to have happy drug properties, and is NOT addictive, as well as be a super food & cancer cure. Show me a creative, thought provoking artist, musician, actor, singer, painter, or a normal everyday person and I will show up a pot smoker!
Well that was my rant on drugs and marijuana. :)
Back to me....HAHAHAHA.....
So I refuse to ride the guilt trip around my past.
Love me and except me for all my foibles, no one is perfect and if you are...snap out of it.
I am more than willing too, and happily tell people about my drug and alcohol issues. I have nothing to hide and I hope others may gain strength, and knowledge by reading this & learning from their own experiences. Everything we go through in this lifetime is to teach us something, so embrace it fully, live it completely and heal it entirely.
The more work I do on myself, the more I am able to understand people and the human psyche. I say to you, embrace all the good and all the not so good about yourself and LOVE yourself just the same. I’m not really sure what my family think about me, or my past. What they think is none of my business actually, so I do not put much thought into that. I know that I have worked through, and I am still working through my life's lessons and living my full journey. The good and not so good always go hand in hand.
07.06.2013 CASE IN POINT:-
RIP & Sincerest Condolences to the Kwan family.
The Kwan family of NSW, who's son jumped to his death, saying he could fly....HE was sold synthetic LSD for TWO DOLLARS!!!!!
Fucking TWO DOLLARS, and this gorgeous bright young man lost his life in front of his family who tried in vane to save him.
And they 17yr old boy who sold him the drugs is to face court.
TWO INNOCENT LIVES RUINED
TWO FAMILIES DESTROYED IN A MOMENT
May the Angels surround them and heal them
Sorry...but this would not have happened if
Marijuana was legalized!
Growing Marijuana for personal use ONLY, was legalized.
Marijuana for medical purposes was legalized and ABUNDANT.
Synthetic drugs were closer scrutinized by the
power's that be.
With MUCH tougher kick ass penalties applied to manufacturing, distribution & sale of this shit!
I have never felt the need to delve into stronger drugs than Marijuana, until I was lured into taking speed. I knew who and where I was getting it from, I knew it was not cut with anything else. I never injected it, I used to swallow it. And the instant all that changed I stopped. Well that and the fact I met the man I wanted to marry, and life meant a shit load more to me now, that was incentive enough to change my life. In hindsight, I am truly lucky and infinitely blessed to be alive. When I tried so hard to make myself dead!
I know longer feel like that...... that death wish. But I see it a lot in other people. I will do anything to assist those in need, to get the help they so desperately require and often cannot ask for. I do know from first hand experience what you are going through.
So much shame is placed on people with drug & alcohol issues, & mental health issues. It should not be like this, but that is a whole new blog topic.
There should be help readily available.
It is a very sad state of affairs when the Government (Barnett) state debt has blown out to over $20 million and counting!
STOP fucking spending money on shit we do NOT need F.F.S!
I love you & care about your welfare.
“Awaken Your Spirit Within”